


Sterek RPs: Missing You

by seekeronthepath



Series: Sterek RPs [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Arguing, College Student Stiles, Communication, Derek Leaves Beacon Hills, Drunk Texting, Established Relationship, Fights, Flirting, Friendship, Getting Back Together, Insecurity, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-3A, Post-Break Up, Texting, Trust, adults using their words, gaming analogies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-19 04:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4732475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seekeronthepath/pseuds/seekeronthepath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I miss you" is one of my go-to prompts because it has so much potential. I decided to collect related fics together, to show what different people made of it. All due (immense) credit to my mostly-unnamed partners in crime.</p><p>Ch 1: Friendship, trust, Derek leaves Beacon Hills for a while<br/>Ch 2: Established relationship, long-distance relationship, insecurity, arguments<br/>Ch 3: High-school AU, post-breakup, getting back together, insecurity, drunk Stiles<br/>Ch 4: Post-3A, Derek leaves BH, mutual pining, insecure Derek<br/>Ch 5: Post-break up, getting back together, communication, adults using their words, gaming analogies, flirting, long-distance relationship<br/>Ch 6: Established, arguments, communication<br/>Ch 7: Established, long-distance relationship, college, anxiety</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Both Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek's taking a break from Beacon Hills. Stiles misses him. That's the fic. 
> 
> Friendship, trust

I miss you - SS

 

You do?-DH

 

Are you actually surprised? - SS

 

Yes. -DH

 

Dude, you did actually make an impression - SS

 

Really? -DH

Sorry, I just... Never noticed. -DH

 

/Derek/. Sourwolf. /How/ many times did you save my life? /How/ much time did we spend hanging out in the middle of things? /How/ much epic banter was there? - SS

 

Um...More than other people knew of? -DH

 

Probably - SS

Scott mostly didn't pay attention to what I was doing when he wasn't around - SS

Hence most of the life-saving you did - SS

 

Someone had to do it. -DH

I miss you too, by the way. -DH

 

...really? - SS

 

Of course. -DH

The life saving went both ways. -DH

 

Yeah, well, I liked having you around to save my ass - SS

 

I just liked having you around. -DH

 

[delay]

me too - SS

 

...Good. -DH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my collaborator for Derek. Hope you enjoyed it!


	2. Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is at college, and he's missing Derek. Long-distance relationships aren't easy.
> 
> Established relationship, long-distance relationship, insecurity, arguments
> 
> Derek is in bold, Stiles in plain text.

I miss you

**I know**

thanks, Han Solo

it's just...it seems like so /long/ since I've seen you.

Skype's not the same

**I know. I could sense your raging libido.**

**And of course how much you miss me.**

it's not the sex

well, it is the sex

but it's not just the sex

I don't understand why it doesn't bother you

**I didn't say it didn't bother me**

**I'm just not as outspoken as you are, Stiles**

yeah, I guess

it's stupid

sometimes I worry there won't be a place for me when I come back

**What? What...you mean a place in our relationship?**

**You're more uptight than I thought.**

I mean, all of you, back at home, you're learning to live without me, figuring out all the ways you don't really need me around

**Okay, that's absurd. You're being incredibly insecure, it's unbecoming, and frankly detrimental to us.**

**What, just because I don't tell you I jack off to you every other hour means it doesn't happen?**

**Because it happens, Stiles.**

Gee, thanks. Completely invalidate my feelings, that's going to make everything better.

**God, Stiles. I'm just telling you, you're...winding yourself up.**

**For no reason.**

**I'm here, and everything is going to be in place when you get back.**

I'm well aware that it's irrational, Derek.

I was hoping you'd show some emotional awareness and give me some fucking reassurance instead of treating me like an idiot.

I don't know if you've realised, but anxiety can be extremely irrational.

And rather than you telling me I'm absurd, uptight, and winding myself up, I was kind of hoping you'd tell me you missed me, you loved me, and/or we were going to be okay.

_[delay]_

**Stiles, I'm sorry.**

**I...forgot.**

**I can admit, yes, things are still...happening during your absence.**

**It's what happens.**

**Doesn't mean things are necessarily better without you here.**

**They just keep on keeping on, and you're doing a pretty fantastic job at it. Really.**

**Also, yes. I love you. To the moon and back okay?**

I love you too. I'm sorry I got pissed at you.

I've had a shitty day.

**Don't be sorry.**

**I could tell. You want to talk about it?**

Little things. 9am lecture got cancelled and I didn't figure it out til I got there; douchebag in my history tute was talking constantly about stuff he was wrong about; someone bumped into me when I was getting lunch and I spilled coffee all over my stuff; room-mate was making out when his girlfriend when I got back so I had to hang out in the common room and my computer ran out of batteries but I didn't want to go back to my room for the charger in case there was a sock on the door; dinner was crap.

It's all the kind of stuff that would be easy if I had friends here

I'd do a little bitching, or they'd give me a hand, or somewhere to hang out, or they'd take my mind off it, or whatever

**Mm, yeah. You'd come over and I'd hold your hand, make out with you, fuck you...alleviate the stress, and so on...**

**Not to tread on your very valid emotions, but...you're very cute when you're grumpy**

**Did I cross it?**

No, it's alright

I'm just...I'm fucking lonely

**I could come over**

...I'd really like that.

It'd probably be easier if there was someone else from the pack here, but...luck of the draw

Everyone here is worried about stuff that seems so unimportant, they all seem so naive

And I'm happy for them, god knows I don't wish they'd grown up the way I had, but it makes it hard to connect

**Jesus**

**I'm coming**

oh really? ;)

**God, Stiles. You're ridiculous.**

**And I miss you, ridiculously.**

**Also, yes, really. I will be. You can count on it.**

Thanks, Derek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit for Derek goes to my excellent collaborator.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	3. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles thinks they broke up because Derek was always going to leave eventually. Derek thinks they broke up because Stiles didn't really care about him. It takes Stiles having a few too many beers for the two of them to talk it out.
> 
> High-school AU, post-breakup, getting back together, insecurity, drunk Stiles

You are an asshole, did you know that?

 

**Seriously?**

 

Yes, seriously. And you're far too attractive. It's not fair. You and your stupid bubble butt. I hate you.

 

**...you're drunk, aren't you?**

 

_[delay]_

Just a little. Doesn't matter. You're an asshole.

 

**Are you seriously still pissed at me?**

 

Of course I'm pissed at you!

 

**It's been months**

 

So what? Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt still. Asshole. And today in those jeans it didn't fucking help.

 

**You...still?**

 

Of course still. Why the hell wouldn't I? You broke my heart. Doesn't matter. Asshole.

 

**You didn't actually care about me, though**

 

What?

 

**It was perfectly obvious you weren't that into me**

 

What the fuck are you talking about?

 

**You just...you liked the kissing, and the sex**

 

What gave you that impression?

 

**You didn't like /me/**

 

Of course I like you, dumbass!

Love. Fuck.

 

**What?**

**No you don't**

 

Why would you think that?

I think I know what I feel, asshole.

 

**All you ever talked about was how hot I was**

**We never just...spent time together**

**You liked showing me off to your friends**

**Proving you'd managed to 'catch' me**

 

We watched movies! And I went to your games! I mean, yeah you're hot. Like the burning sun. But you're smart and funny and sweet and really caring and oddly sarcastic as hell. I liked telling people we were together because I couldn't believe you wanted /me/. And as for the sex...I don't know. If I kept having it with you as much as possible you wouldn't leave me for someone else.

 

**Stiles...**

 

What.

 

**Why didn't you ever /say/ so?**

 

Yeah, because telling your boyfriend that you're fucking insecure about your relationship is a good idea.

 

**Yeah, well, I felt like your fucking trophy boyfriend**

**Like some hot piece of ass you wanted to parade around and fuck**

 

I always knew you were going to leave me. I just didn't know what I did. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

 

**Well I didn't**

**Know that**

 

I just...wanted to make the most of the little time I had with you.

 

**Yeah, well, you fucked up**

 

Well what would you do if the guy you'd had a major crush on since elementary school asked you out? You're popular and smart and so obviously way above me.

 

**You seriously liked me that long ago?**

**And it's not obvious. You're smarter than I am, and popularity means shit**

 

You're the kind of popular that's going to carry it throughout your life. People are always going to love you and want to be with you or be you. And someday someone better will come along that sees how funny and adorable and how much fun you are and they'll be way better than me and you would have left then too.

 

**You really think that?**

**That I would have just left you?**

 

Yes. I mean, I'm smart yeah. But I'm nothing special.

 

**Wow**

**I'm sorry**

 

Me too. I guess we both have shit we need to work out.

 

**You mean the way I was too busy feeling like shit to notice that I was making you feel like shit?**

 

And I was too. I'm sorry.

 

**Just...I liked you, Stiles**

**I genuinely, honestly, really, truly liked you a lot**

**I liked your sense of humour, and your enthusiastic curiosity, and your stubbornness, and how protective you are**

**I figured you knew**

**And I didn't really want to talk about it when I thought all /you/ liked was my 'bubble butt'**

**So, yeah. sorry**

 

_[delay]_

You have a cute butt. And cute bunny teeth. And a great laugh. And I always loved cuddling with you. Felt safe, you know? I figured that if I gave you enough sex and it was good, that you wouldn't want to leave for someone else. It sounds stupid now.

 

**It's really stupid**

**I wouldn't ever have left you for someone else**

**Definitely not because of sex**

 

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like shit.

 

**I should've realized you were insecure, I guess**

 

I should have too. I just...didn't think you had anything to be insecure about.

 

**Everyone's insecure about something**

 

_[delay]_

I miss you.

 

**...I miss you, too**

 

Do you think we could ever try again?

 

**I think, if we did, we'd need to take it slow**

**We broke up because our relationship was all sex and no talking**

**I think we'd kind of need to reverse that trend**

 

Yes. Right. More talking. More doing things. Less sex. Right. Do you want to try?

 

**I'm kind of still in love with you, so, yeah. I'd like to try**

 

I love you too. Good. Starting slow. We can just text for a little bit? And then maybe move up to talking on the phone. And then a date?

 

**Yeah. And, uh, I'll stop avoiding you. At school.**

 

You /have/ been avoiding me. Scott said I was being crazy.

 

**I didn't stop caring when I broke up with you, you know**

**So I didn't really, uh, want to see you more than I had to**

 

Yeah. I get that. I really am sorry. But...let's start new. I'm slightly less drunk now. I only had like two beers anyway. Beer is awful.

 

**It's not great**

**But starting fresh sounds good.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my collaborator for Stiles and the prompt. Hope you enjoyed it!


	4. On the Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After 3A, Derek left Beacon Hills. Stiles was fine with it - he figured that Beacon Hills probably had all sorts of awful memories for Derek, he didn't blame the guy for doing what he needed to be okay. Then Stiles found out Derek /wasn't/ okay. That, Stiles wasn't fine with.
> 
>  
> 
> Post-3A, Derek leaves BH, mutual pining, insecure Derek

I miss you

 

**You do?**

 

Did you think I wouldn't?

Geez, Derek

 

**I didn't think you would.**

**Why do you? It's not like I'm important to your pack.**

 

Derek. Seriously.

All the shit we've been through together, you don't think you're important to us?

/How/ many times have you saved my life?

 

**I'm not your pack though.**

**We've been through a lot, I know that. But I didn't think... You... I'm sorry.**

 

I'm not a wolf. It's not the same for me.

You don't have to be in my pack to be my friend, you know.

And I do, actually, think of you as pack

 

**Stiles...**

**I'm...I... You shouldn't.**

 

If you don't want me to, I won't.

But I thought you should know.

 

**I'm sorry Stiles.**

**I want you to be happy.**

 

Why are you sorry?

 

**I just am**

 

You've got nothing to be sorry for, Derek

I get why you left - this town must be full of shitty memories

 

**That's not why I left. I left because it'll be worse if I'm there.**

 

What the hell?

That's...you're wrong

 

**No, I'm not wrong. There are things still after me.**

 

Why didn't you tell us?

Do you need help?

Are you okay?

Damnit, Derek

 

**I'm healing. That's all that matters.**

**You're safe! That's all that I care about. You have to be safe.**

 

You're healing? That means you're fucking hurt!

And that's sweet of you, but I want /you/ to be safe too, you know

 

**I'll be fine. It's not a big deal.**

**I'll be safe.**

 

You're not a fucking redshirt, Derek

I couldn't...I was okay with you not coming home when I thought leaving was /good/ for you

 

**Now you're not okay with it?**

**Redshirt?**

 

You're not some minor character who gets to lead the enemy away and die in some heroic last stand so that the Heroes Of The Story survive

And no, I'm not fucking okay with you being in danger without us there to help you

 

**I'm okay with being in danger without you here to get hurt.**

**I'm not being a redshirt. I'm doing what's right.**

 

Yeah, no. You fucking matter, Derek

 

**Not when it comes to keeping you safe**

 

Look, just...are you going to be okay?

Are /you/ going to be okay?

 

**I'll be fine.. I think.**

 

/Yes/ when it comes to keeping us safe. You /always/ matter, Derek.

 

**You're being ridiculous**

 

_[delay]_

So, I called Scott.

 

**What? Why?!**

 

I told him that you're 'healing' because there are 'things after you' and it will be 'worse if you're here' and that you 'think' it will be fine.

Three guesses what he said, Derek.

 

**There were too many quotes in there.**

**That you're happy I'm gone then.**

 

That's because I quoted you a lot.

And no.

He wanted to know where you were so that we could come and help you.

 

**No! You're not coming here.**

 

He also wanted to know why you hadn't asked for help.

He's concerned that you still hate him for that thing with Gerard

 

**I don't care about that. I just need you to be safe.**

**I mean the others... that's one thing.**

**But you... you have to be safe.**

 

I'm not that important, Derek.

My safety is /not worth yours/.

We risk our lives for /each other/. It's supposed to be reciprocal

 

**You're important to me. And it's more than worth it.**

**You wouldn't make it out of this alive Stiles.**

 

You're not making me feel better, Derek. What the hell is going on?

 

**They'll go after you first.**

 

Your vagueness is /not helping/, Derek

Who what when where why how

Give me some specifics

Or I'll start trying to figure it out myself

 

**They want my heart... She won't stop till she gets it.**

 

Gee, that's not ominous at all

Wait...why am /I/ in danger, then?

 

**Think about it a second.**

 

You're kidding me.

Derek, you can't tell me you reciprocate and then tell me not to help you when you're in danger!

 

**What do you mean reciprocate?**

**I can and I just did.**

 

Wow. I learned subtlety at the most inconvenient time ever.

I always figured it was pretty obvious

 

**What was obvious Stiles?**

**Inconvenient?**

 

Think about it a second.

 

**You.. oh...**

**But why inconvenient?**

 

You and I have /reciprocal feelings/, dude

I never said anything because I assumed you knew and were letting me down easy

But no, we were apparently mutually oblivious

 

**I guess so...**

**I'm sorry.**

 

Stop apologizing, you haven't done anything wrong

 

**I'm apologizing because I might not make it back.**

 

No you fucking don't

You are going to tell me where you are, and let us fucking help you

Please, Derek

 

**I can't... I won't lose you.**

 

Well I won't lose you either

And if you don't tell me, I'll have to find out myself, and I'll probably come running in with half the information I need

I'm completely serious, I will track your fucking phone

 

**No you won't because I'll dump it and be long gone before you get here.**

 

Derek, you don't get it. I love you. I /will not/ lose you. I don't care what I have to do, or what I have to risk. I will bring you home.

 

**I love you too but I'm not going to let you get hurt.**

 

Derek, you dying would hurt me more than you can imagine. I'll be okay. /Please/ let me help you. Let /us/ help you. You have a fucking pack, you just have to let them in.

 

_[delay]_

**Fine**

**Crystal Peak. Washington.**

 

...thank you.

We'll be there as soon as we can.

Please don't die.

 

**I'll try not to.**

 

I love you

 

**I love you too.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my collaborator for Derek...and while they didn't write the prompt, I think they deserve credit for the plot here.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Level Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back then, Derek and Stiles didn't work. They /wanted/ to, and they tried, but in the end, they broke up, and Derek moved away to start fresh. They still miss each other, though. Enough to try again.
> 
> post-break up, getting back together, communication, adults using their words, gaming analogies, flirting, long-distance relationship

I miss you

**hey.**

**I miss you too.**

 

being apart from each other is stupid

why did we agree to that?

we're stupid

 

**I can't argue with that, we are stupid. but being apart was the best and right thing to do, remember?**

 

the stupid thing to do

we seriously couldn't have found a better way?

 

**well I would have been with you otherwise.**

 

that would be so amazing

 

**with how the situation was back then...**

**yeah?**

 

yeah

I miss you a lot

I miss your face, and your voice, and your hair, and your hugs, and your eyes, and your muscles, and your...everything

I want you here

 

**I miss you too.**

 

Or I want to be there

either way

do you think you could visit? or I could?

 

**I miss your stupid puns and weird nicknames. I miss your smile, your scent, your fingers, your eyes, your perfect skin, your cute nose. I miss the way you always ate my favourite biscuits with the most awful ice cream flavour and ruined them, I miss you ordering pizza for 4 people when there was just the two of us and then claiming you were too full to move but still managed to wrestle with me for the remote control.**

**I miss being silly and relaxed with you.**

**I just miss you in my life in general.**

**I'd like that.**

 

god, I miss that so much

I miss you holding me

you always made me feel so safe

 

**maybe times are different now.**

 

maybe we can make them different

 

**I want to make them different.**

 

I don't want to live like this forever

okay. problem-solving.

 

**I tried to just... not think about it, but I can't.**

 

I can't either

but we can fix this

we're good at fixing shit

we've always found a way so far

how do we fix this?

 

**that's sort of your specialty.**

 

dammit

right

 

**we take it slow and easy and visit each other once in a while for a couple of days. then more often and maybe longer?**

 

yeah?

you think that would work?

 

**I just want to see you now that I know you want to see me.**

 

you didn't know that already?

I've been missing you forever

 

**It probably won't. But it's better than living like this, right?**

**I have to admit I didn't.**

 

I'm sorry

I should have told you sooner

I didn't want to think about it

 

**yeah, me too.**

 

how did we end up like this, Derek?

 

**you said it yourself. we're not the brightest people.**

 

'not the brightest'. we're idiots

you're the best thing in my life and you're /gone/

 

_[delay]_

**semantics.**

 

what if we can't fix it? what if this doesn't work?

what if it all starts going wrong again?

 

**then we will think about it and talk about it and if it sucks and we don't want to keep it going because it's only making us miserable and just not as happy as we can be, then we stay apart from each other again. but we still will have had some days or months or years or whatever when it was good and we were together. I would rather go through hell for spending a good day with you than live like this forever.**

**I pushed away every good thing I had because my past taught me that that's the best way to protect them, because the ones I love die and the moment I'm happy, something awful happens. But I don't want to live like that anymore. you taught me that I could have something good in my life.**

 

...you're really smart, you know that?

I'm glad I could help. You deserve it.

okay. we can do this.

 

**I thought we were idiots.**

 

that's when we were agreeing to be apart

 

**yeah, just promise me you'll put yourself first, always. I want you to be happy.**

**oh I see. so... when and where?**

**and mostly.. what are we?**

 

...can I come to you? there's too much history here

 

**yes**

 

I've got some vacation time saved up, I could come see you next weekend

 

**new beginnings, right?**

 

right

 

**yes. perfect.**

 

as for what we are, right now I think we're...trying

dating's stupid, we're not dating. I feel like calling us boyfriends again so soon is just going to jinx it.

what do you think?

Also, I'm only putting myself first if you promise to do the same

 

**no, boyfriends it's a big word and just.. no. trying sounds good though.**

**I will.**

**I just wanted to know if we were trying or just being friends.**

 

I miss you too much to just be friends with you

 

**there's only a certain amount of time I can hug a friend before it stops being socially acceptable.**

**yeah me too.**

 

there's only a certain amount I can ogle a friend before it gets awkward

I'm really not good at stopping myself from doing that

 

**Stiles!**

**you're the worst.**

 

you still like me, though

 

**but I like it when you look at me like that..**

**I really do.**

 

that's a good thing, because I like looking at you

also hugging you

also you in general

I like that a lot

 

**we're both lucky because I like that too. I like feeling you against me through at least one point of contact so hugs, touches on the arms and back or whatever are totally approved.**

 

...I really shouldn't be extrapolating from that whatever

it's too soon

fuck it's tempting though

 

**it's too soon.**

**but I also missed you a lot so..**

**whatever.**

 

I propose a compromise

it /is/ too soon, and we /do/ need to talk, so when I see you next weekend, no sex

but flirting, kissing, and cuddling are ok

thoughts?

 

**that's more than I was hoping for**

 

you're pretty pessimistic

 

**I was afraid that kissing was too soon too. but I really really want to so if you're okay with it and you will still be then**

 

look, I was pretty pissed at you for a while there, but the reason I was so angry was /because/ I missed you so much

 

**hey, you know me. I'm not exactly all rainbows, unicorns and flowers.**

 

and the more I thought about it - which was a lot - the more I realized where you were coming from

not that I agreed, but I understood it

so there are things we need to fix, but it's not because I'm angry or anything, it's because I want us to work and we won't unless we do

 

**I know, I know. And I am willing to fix them and take the time we need to do that. Because I was in a dark place when you left me and it took me a while to see things straight and I think we can both learn from that and move on.**

**move on from the past, I mean.**

 

you...you're okay, though? you've been okay? because, seriously, I've been worried

 

**I've been okay. not great but okay. What about you? I tried asking Scott subtly, Lydia has been more talkative though.**

 

Scott was pissed at you for longer than I was. He's a good bro that way, even if it was unwarranted

I've been alright. It's not like I was the one who uprooted his whole life.

Pissed, and sad, and then just sad. I probably owe Scott something for letting me cry on him when I was drunk a few times

 

**Yeah Scott has been pretty pissed at me. I'm not sure he'd approve our decision actually.**

 

But I've been keeping busy, so I've been fine, I guess

he wouldn't

different cost-benefit analysis

 

**yeah well my life is not that bad now. I was a mess at first, I was sad and went through some weird stages and then moved a lot before just settling and starting fresh.**

 

you and I are thinking of the awesome as well as the break-up. he's just thinking of me getting my heart broken

 

**I'm sorry I broke your heart.**

 

you didn't exactly come out of that unscathed

 

**I know, I appreciate the fact that you have someone like Scott though. At least I know you'll always have someone.**

**yeah well no.**

 

I wish I could say the same

 

**it's okay. I spent time with Cora.**

**she's pissed at you.**

 

that's fair. I'm glad you had someone to go to

 

**you probably want to avoid her for at least a few more years, but hey, you know the Hales and like one!**

 

she and Scott can duke it out on our behalf

it will be very dramatic

lots of back-flips

 

**that would be so awkward. please let's not let them meet without a moderator.**

**I missed how you made me laugh. It feels nice.**

 

can't be either of us either - they'd get extra protective

Lydia? she'd glare them into submission

not even the mighty 'true alpha' crosses Lydia

it's really funny to watch in pack meetings

 

**Lydia is my favourite Beacon Hills resident. I'm sorry.**

 

no, no, that's completely fair

Lydia should be everyone's favourite

you're my favourite person, of course, but she's not actually a person

she doesn't get measured on the same scale

 

**I know. I can totally see why you had a crush on her and she knows it.**

**but let's go back to the part where you called me your favourite person.**

 

like I always used to say, she's a goddess.

sure

I mean, you've been my favourite for ages

didn't you know that?

 

**I didn't know I still held that title.**

 

the position was vacant for a while

you got it back when you said you missed how I ruin your ice cream

 

**glad I could go back to taking that position then. or at least, try to.**

 

there is no try, there is only do

 

**Is it weird that I do?**

 

that you miss that?

 

**you're my person.**

 

I'm really glad

 

**yes. I mean.. I hated that. I still do. But I miss it. Even if now my refrigerator only has good ice cream flavours in it.**

 

I think it's because things like that...there's a whole lot of emotions behind why that was a thing

like, I was comfortable enough with you to do that, and you liked me enough to let me even though you hated it, and we were together often enough that it was a *thing*

I've missed the way you used to put all my papers away before I was done with them, even though it meant I always lost my train of thought

because it meant you were in my space, and you cared about it enough to try to make it 'better', even though your idea of what 'better' was was stupid

 

**you needed to get breaks and the only way for you to do that was if I put the papers away. It was for your own good and I'd probably do that again if we work.**

**hey! it was not stupid!**

 

look, making me take a break, fine, that's sweet of you. but I don't think you realize how much I rely on that sort of thing. my ADD makes it /really/ hard to keep hold of a train of thought, and I've developed a lot of habits to help me do so - like the murder walls you've seen me make, I'm very visual and spatial. when you 'tidied up' my papers, you'd set me back by at least half-an-hour on whatever I was doing

it may have been well-intended, but I'd really like you to not

 

**oh.**

 

I should have actually explained it instead of just getting pissy at you

 

**well I'm sorry. I just got worried about you because your eyes turned red-ish, your shoulders looked like you were very tired...**

**it's okay.**

**I won't do that again.**

 

I really do appreciate that you were trying to get me to rest

but there are ways I can use to put things away without ruining the system

maybe you could get me to help you, next time.

 

**well you could teach me those. and I could start asking you to take breaks.**

 

that sounds good

...do we get adulthood points for successfully communicating about a problem and resolving the issue?

I feel like we should

like, this should be a thing

bonus points for compromise! lose points for yelling. lose points for kissing-in-order-to-shut-up. bonus points for kissing as reaffirmation of affection after a conflict!

 

**you want to get points for each step in our relationship ?**

 

life would be much more interesting as a video game

not really

but it's fun to think about

 

**you're weird. in a good way.**

this is a thing we knew already

or at least, I hope we were already agreed that it was good

I gave up on not being weird a /long/ time ago

 

**so I don't get points for affirming that?**

**we were.**

 

you get points

 

**please never not be weird.**

 

maybe I've gotten a job at a bank while you've been gone

maybe I'll show up in a suit - not a nice one, just a work-day suit

 

**oh my God, really?**

 

no

I still work at the bookshop

they don't care what I wear

 

**Neither do I, so we're good.**

 

mm, I get the impression sometimes you care what I /don't/ wear

pants, for example

you have very strong feelings about whether or not I'm wearing pants

 

**I'm trying not to think about you not wearing pants, Stiles. you're making it difficult.**

**and well it's normal to me. I am very attracted to you so seeing you without pants is something I appreciate.**

 

We did agree flirting was okay - if you want, we could make flirting not okay?

I'm totally serious, you can, like, safeword out if you want to

 

**yes, it is okay.**

 

oh thank god

because awkwardness

thy name is Stiles

 

**I'll say peppermint if I want out.**

 

thank you

 

**You know me, I don't care about awkward.**

 

because there's this element of objection to a lot of flirting and I feel really weird without the solid ground of a currently-functional relationship (I mean I have hopes, but you know) to rely on to counter that, and...thanks

if you did, you'd never have dated me

I'm not what you'd call smooth

 

**no you are so not. remember when you asked me out after I had just asked you out 5 minutes before but you didn't realise I did?**

 

jesus, don't remind me

I was honestly so nervous I was barely listening

 

**It's okay, I like flirting with you. I just don't really know how much we can flirt because we have history and stuff.**

**so feel free to tell me to stop or whatever**

**I noticed.**

 

same deal. I'll safeword if I need to

conversational safewords - it's a thing

 

**perfect.**

 

actually, could we make that a thing in general?

 

**Yeah that would help a lot.**

 

because we are going to be having a lot of uncomfortable conversations in the near future and I just...

I think it would be good if we had a sure way to say 'back off now'

good. we'll do that

I really killed the mood there, didn't I?

 

**nah, you actually made me feel more comfortable and relaxed about this.**

**so don't worry about it.**

 

that's good

I'd prefer it if you were comfortable

in general

 

**I am, I will let you know if I'm not**

 

okay, I just have to tell you, right now my mind is split in half between "are you sitting comfortably?" on like, a kids show, and "I'll just change into something more...comfortable"

the dichotomy is making me extremely /un/comfortable

Derek, help

 

**I'd much rather like you thinking about "changing into something more...comfortable" while talking to me instead of a kids show.**

 

oh man, so would I

although it's not like I have silk nightgowns to change into or anything

 

**but hey, if you can't escape that dichotomy, I can sit comfortably while you change into something more comfortable.**

**you just take off your pants and wear an old large t shirt. that's your go-to when you want to be comfortable. That or sweatpants.**

 

yeah? how comfortable?

 

**very comfortable.**

 

not jeans, then

 

**nope.**

 

you know me too well

I still have one of your shirts, you know. I think I'll wear that

 

**now or in the future?**

 

now. also in the future.

I've been wearing it a lot lately

mostly in bed

 

**I always liked when you wore my shirts.**

**especially in the morning.**

 

mm. you said you liked the way it made me smell

this one's probably lost your scent by now

I'll have to bring it with me so you can fix that

 

**And you could just get one of those I still have to wear while I fix that.**

 

that would be awesome

 

**you looked so cute with bed head, wearing my shirts and smelling like /us/.**

 

I've missed your scent

I know I don't smell it like you do, but I liked it

 

**I've missed yours too. A lot.**

**well prepare to get soaked in it when you get here.**

**both because you will use my things and because we'll cuddle.**

 

it's a good thing you clarified - that sounded way dirtier than what we've got planned

 

**I swear I wasn't thinking anything dirty.. this time.**

 

yeah. having you on me and in me is going to have to wait

for now, cuddles sound perfect

 

**it's worth the wait. and I have waited for so long, I don't mind waiting more**

 

anticipation's not a bad thing

 

**you fit perfectly in my arms and I in yours. that's all I want. To be close to you and cuddle and talk and maybe even argue about which movie we should watch.**

 

I want that so much, Der

jesus, I've missed you so much

 

**I'm so glad you texted me.**

 

I almost didn't

I've almost texted you so many times...

 

**I asked Lydia how you were and if she thought it was okay for me to text you so many times I think she blocked my number.**

 

She doesn't have a lot of tolerance for relationship drama in other people

 

**no she doesn't. but she helped.**

 

we should get her a thank-you card

or flowers, she'd probably like that

 

**she'd like flowers and jewels.**

**but maybe let's wait until we think we're working properly**

**speaking of which, what are you going to tell your friends?**

 

good plan

I'm going to tell them that I'm going to see you because it's time we talked about things

they can extrapolate from that what they like

if it goes well, I'll tell them we've decided to have another go at it, I guess

 

**okay great. I like the sound of that.**

 

I'm really glad I'm coming to see you, Derek. I'm really, really glad we're fixing this.

 

**I am too. I really want you to come over and just be able to see you and be in the same room as you. You have no idea of how much that makes me happy.**

 

Me too, Derek. God. I'm /so/ happy too.

 

**This can work.**

 

Yes. I think it can.

 

**we grew up, we know how it is to be apart and we had time to think. I think we can make this work.**

 

Yeah. We've learned some things we maybe needed to know. We're a little bit smarter now - smart enough to try to be together instead of just missing each other forever.

 

**I think I would have missed you forever, you know?**

 

I know

I know exactly what you mean

 

**Can I offer to buy half of your ticket?**

 

...thank you, but no.

when you come to Beacon Hills, you can pay for your own

and when I visit you, I'll pay for mine

 

**okay, good.**

 

oh my god, Derek.

I'm buying tickets

I'm going to /see you/

This is /actually happening/

 

**I just felt like maybe the first times it would be better for us to stay away from that environment and work on ourselves before working on the whole thing back in Beacon Hills. And I didn't want to feel guilty about making you travel her all the time.**

**yes, it is.**

**But I probably only realise it when you text me to come get you or to open the door.**

 

okay, that's fair - if after a couple of visits we're still not up to being here, then we'll start splitting the difference

It won't feel real until I can hug you

 

**okay, that's better.**

**It's so good to know that I will hug you soon.**

 

soon

 

**soon.**

 

fuck, I was starting to think it would be never

 

**I was trying not to think about that.**

 

whatever happens, we need to fix this so we can hug each other

 

**I always thought that maybe, once we were 70 or 80 we'd meet and say hi again.**

 

even if we can't be together, we need to be friends

losing your friendship was almost worse than losing your love

that's a nice thought

I like it

 

**I know. Just having you around has always been enough for me. And then we were together and it was great. But then losing everything was just unbearable.**

 

We won't let that happen again.

 

**So let's promise each other one thing: no matter what we decide to do, we have to be adults about it and be friends, at least.**

 

yes

I'll promise that gladly

 

**Great. Do we get extra points for this?**

 

I think we get all the points for this

We're leveling up, Sourwolf

achievement unlocked: undying friendship

 

**you're such a nerd.**

**I missed you calling me that, too**

 

of course you did, it's an awesome nickname

everyone should have such an awesome nickname

 

**it's not, but I know you don't mean it as a real insult so I'm good.**

**you have Stiles.**

 

that's my name, though

it doesn't count

 

**it started as a nickname though. And it's so good you don't need a nickname.**

 

aww

I keep forgetting how sweet you are

I'll see you soon, Derek.

 

**I'll have to remind you.**

**I'll see you soon.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my co-author for an amazing Derek. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	6. What Are We Fighting For?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek and Stiles keep fighting. The last one was pretty bad, and Derek wants to fix it.
> 
> Established, arguments, communication

**I miss you**

**Please, forgive me?**

 

Do you honestly miss me? We... do argue a lot. I'm frustrated.

 

**I know we do**

**But I always miss you**

 

Ah, big guy. I miss you too, you know.

 

**It's always good to hear**

**But you're right**

**We argue too much**

 

I'm being way too frustrating, I know. Most people would agree with you.

 

**It's my fault as least as much as it's yours**

 

Thanks. For saying that and all. We need to change things a bit.

 

**I think we do, yeah**

**I don't think I can take many more fights like this one**

 

Then we should do this, buddy. We kind of need to find the point when things turn to argument and stop there.

 

**I feel like sometimes...we aren't fighting about what we're /really/ fighting about, if that makes sense**

**We're using the argument of the day to let out the tension of underlying frustrations**

 

Sounds plausible to me. Any idea what we can do about that?

 

**Talk more about what's bothering us?**

**I don't know**

**But, this last time, for example...why were you actually angry at me?**

 

Because... sometimes it's just difficult to handle that I feel we do have this distance, because I am a human. Like we try to do things, but you always have this...block in you about me not being a werewolf.

 

**So you felt that I was...trying to exclude you?**

 

Kind of. Not intentionally.

 

**I guess...I'm usually worried about the flip side of that**

**I feel like I'm dangerous for you to be around**

**And that you deserve better**

**And that worry often expresses itself as anger**

**Because most of my emotions do, it's a defense mechanism for me**

 

Ah, babe. You are the best for me. Seriously. I love you the way you are.

I'm not scared of you at all or worried about getting hurt in any way.

If anything, you are one of the very few people I can actually trust.

 

**I guess...I feel responsible for a lot of hurt in other people's lives**

**It's a mental habit that's hard to shake**

 

Yeah, I know. I know about your guilt issues.

We should start solving this little by little.

 

**Yeah, I suppose so**

**And, um...**

**I think we should maybe work on your half, as well**

 

Definitely. I need to learn when to stop poking at things. When you need room to calm down, I need to shut up.

 

**There's that, but also...I worry about you because you're human, and I'm overprotective, but...I've never thought any less of you because of it - never trusted you less, relied on you less, respected you less - and sometimes I think you think I do**

 

It's not just the human thing. You know I was never the cool one or popular or anything. Look at yourself. You're brilliant. Hell, you're superhuman level amazing for real. It's not that hard to feel like I can never measure up.

 

**I understand that**

**But it's not how I feel at all**

**I feel unworthy of /you/**

 

We both feel bad about ourselves, apparently. In a way that makes us a perfect match.

 

**But also makes us have awful, awful fights**

 

That too. But hey, we're going to solve that.

 

**So, uh, we try to deal with both of our self-esteem issues**

**And next time we argue, we...back down when we start getting actually angry?**

 

We should do that. Also, I think we should pick up some kind of a hobby together. Something that we can do together, a normal, everyday thing.

 

**As opposed to just existing in the same space, talking, arguing, fucking, and fighting for our lives together?**

 

Yeah. You know, doing something not serious. Where the outcome doesn't matter.

 

**...I just realized how pathetic my life has been lately**

**That sounds like a completely implausible thing to do**

**But good**

 

Aww, Der. Your life is not pathetic, we just need a bit of a boost now.

 

**But we'll fix it?**

**We won't...you won't leave?**

 

Of course not, I am not going to leave you at all.

 

**...that's really good to hear**

**I...I love you, Stiles**

 

I love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my collaborator for an awesome Stiles.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it!


	7. What's Scary About College?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's hard, Derek being in Beacon Hills while Stiles is at college. Especially for Stiles. He just can't stop thinking about what might happen.
> 
> Established, long-distance relationship, college, anxiety

College sucks

 

**Yeah?**

 

yeah

 

**What happened?**

 

I got invited to a party

It was stupid, I hated it

 

**Yeah, college parties aren't all they're cracked up to be**

 

That, and it's hard to do the carefree drunk dancing thing when a) you aren't carefree, b) you're too paranoid to get drunk, and c) the people you really want to dance with aren't there

 

**Paranoid?**

 

I don't have you guys to be my DDs

I have to look after myself here

And I have waay too many worst case scenarios in my head

 

**Fair enough**

 

That sucks too

Feeling like I always have to be ready to rescue myself

 

**You run with werewolves, what could college possibly do?**

 

More like: I run with werewolves, what else might college throw at me?

I did read the bestiary, once Lydia translated it all

There are a lot of things that go bump in the night

 

**Yeah, that's true**

 

It's not like I'm worried about it /all the time/, it's just...it's an awareness I have, you know?

And it makes everyone around me seem so damn naïve

 

**Yeah, you get that**

 

Like, wow, you're worried about the job market, well I'm worried someone's going to cut my boyfriend in half one of these days

 

**Job market's pretty awful too, to be fair**

 

This is true

Man, I'm so lucky to have you

I miss you

 

**I miss you too**

 

I'm really looking forward to break

I want to come home

 

**Well, you haven't missed much**

 

It's been calm?

 

**As calm as it gets here**

 

But nothing big?

If something big happened and you guys didn't tell me I would be /so/ pissed

 

**We had a Skin Walker drop by**

 

Shit. Did it kill anyone?

 

**What? No, she was visiting her in-laws**

 

You can't just say "we had a skin walker drop by" and expect me not to assume the worst

jesus, Derek

 

**I feel like I should point out here, that I'm familiar with her family. We had a pact, once upon a time**

 

okay

that's...good

like, not to be speciest, I'm sure she's perfectly nice

just...yeah

 

**Not a fan?**

 

It's not that I'm not a fan, it's just that the safest assumption is always danger

When you describe someone by species, at least

 

**Technically, what she does is a learnt skill.**

 

That just makes it creepier

I know how it's 'learnt'

 

**Oh?**

 

They're called skin-walkers for a reason, right?

They use skins to learn the shapes

Or pelts, if you're being polite

 

**Yeah, they do**

**There hasn't been a skin walker with the power to take a human skin for quite some time. Their numbers aren't what they used to be**

 

I'm guessing that's true of a lot of supernaturals

 

**More succubus now**

**I've heard there's been a spike in vampire populations in south america**

 

Why south america?

 

**Not sure, to be honest**

 

I suppose it makes as much sense there as anywhere

Succubus and incubus make sense, too

More people going out looking for casual sex, easier prey

Yet another reason why I won't be getting blind drunk at college parties

 

**They should steer clear**

 

Yeah? Why?

 

**It's bad manners to eat a werewolf's boyfriend**

 

They'll be able to tell? How? It's not like I'm wearing a sign

 

**They'll smell it**

 

Even now? When I haven't seen you in so long?

 

**You'd have to be away from me for a long time to get rid of it**

**Alternatively, you could bathe in a mild acid or something**

 

And burn my skin off?

Wait, you meant like, what, vinegar, lemon juice?

 

**Yeah, not like battery acid**

 

Right

I'll keep it in mind for next time Lydia breaks up with Jackson and wants to go trawling

I get the sense she'd like to hook up with a supernatural whatever

 

**I can see that**

 

She's fearless

 

**She is**

 

I'll leave her to it, though. I'm happy with you

 

**I'm flattered**

 

That sounds like you don't believe me

 

**Of course I do**

 

You'd better

I love you

 

**I love you too**

 

Thanks. I feel better now

 

**Just, don't worry about the things that go bump, you should be fine up there**

 

And if something does go wrong, you guys will come save me, right?

 

**Of course**

 

Fuck. Just...

It's all going to be fine, right?

I'll be fine, you'll be fine

I'll come home on my breaks, and come back here during semester, and I'll get my degree, and it will all be okay

 

**Exactly. It's all going to be okay.**

 

Right.

Talk to you later, then, I guess

 

**You will.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my co-author for a wonderful Derek.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed it!
> 
> (This is the last of the 'I miss you' fics I've got saved up, I think, so after this it's back to your regularly scheduled programming.)


	8. Leaving Beacon Hills

I miss you - DH

 

 

You do? SS

 

Yes - DH

 

Sorry that was a horrible response.. I miss you too. SS

 

It's alright - DH

I've been trying not to think about it, but... - DH

 

But what? SS

 

There's a limit to what I can ignore - DH

 

What are you talking about? SS

 

I've missed you so much I keep thinking of coming back - DH

I can't pretend that's not important - DH

 

Then come back. SS

 

I'm afraid to - DH

 

Why? SS

 

Beacon Hills has eaten both my families - DH

 

Tell me where you are then.. I.. I'll go to you. SS

 

You can't be serious - DH

 

I am. SS

 

What about your father? Or Scott? - DH

 

Just for a little bit.. to figure this out. SS

 

You'd just leave them? - DH

 

If it meant seeing you right now.. SS

 

[delay] I'm in Sacramento - DH

 

Sacramento. Okay yeah. I can do that. SS

 

I didn't - couldn't - go too far - DH

 

I'm coming to see you. SS

 

Yeah? - DH

 

Yes. SS

 

I guess I'll...see you soon, then - DH

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my co-author for Stiles, and thanks for reading!


End file.
